my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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