Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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