My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize