the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
