Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
