my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
