The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
