why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
