omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you inspire me to be a worse person
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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