It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
