So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
