I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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