Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
