I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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