Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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