Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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