Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
