don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
wow bdsm is so cute
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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