my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
