My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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