Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
