Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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