My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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