Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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