Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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