So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
