we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
