ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
