my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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