this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The feeling are messing with the penis
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
