I'm jealous of your bromance
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?