did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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