AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
