she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
