Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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