why didn't you poke me back
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
