my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
