I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
