he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there was a trapeze. enough said
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
