So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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