After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
