me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
