i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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