Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
