Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize