Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize