it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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