I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
