Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
