I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
