Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize