fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
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I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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