Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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