I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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