Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
