How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
