What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
