just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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