Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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