Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
