They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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