i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have aggressive nipples.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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