It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
