after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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