Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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