what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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